Shamanic Journeys 2019-2020

These stories are transcribed from audio recordings of what I experience during Shamanic journeys. The most recent are on top, so if you want to read them in order, I recommend starting at the bottom. While each journey stands on it’s own, there are references and themes that are repeated between journeys. Follow your own intuition about what is right for you.

Shamanic Journeys are messages to and from our subconscious and unconscious minds, so we may be whole. Or they may be messages from our spirit guides. Regardless of source, I find guidance, wisdom and solace in the symbolism, purpose and meaning in this practice.

A Knife At My Heart & Golden Showers

December 27, 2020

Today I am asking for guidance and holding the question: Where and how is love needed most? And will you, the guides, assist in receptivity? I ask for all the helpful energy towards answering these questions to please step forward, and all unhelpful energy or energy that’s not related to this quest to please leave this space. I have lit a candle in honor of the guides that are helping today. I have pulled two cards from the Mystical Shaman Oracle deck, and they are The Beloved (card 5) and The Time Master (card 57). 

And we begin. Hecate greets me today by the tree on the plain on the bluff that overlooks the river. We embrace and she is telling me how proud she is of me and pleased with my work. And we walk through the trees and down into the forest below. In the forest below are Bambi and Doris. And Sitri. They are the guides who will help today. Again I’m reminded of the question, “where and how is love needed most?” These guides will assist in receptivity. I feel a pressure in my heart area, like a knife blade being pointed at it. Not piercing the skin, but threatening to. I relax and look into the image of myself, holding the knife of my heart. As I look into my own eyes, I am aware of deep pain. In an earlier time, I called this pain the pit of despair. I had closed or shut it down and would not go there. I didn’t find it helpful for living life. Instead of a pit of despair, now I see primordial pain. A realization that suffering is never ending. 

I reach up with my left hand and push the knife blade aside and embrace my hurt and pained self. I take her back into me and we meld into one. The knife is laying on the ground where she dropped it as we melded. Together now, we pick it up and put it into a sleeve on my belt, a sheath. It’s located on my left hip. I’m aware now of this kind of depth of sadness within myself. And paradoxically tremendous joy. I’ll take a couple of deep breaths, just integrating.  

The story of Jesus that I read earlier today, comes to mind. It was about Jesus being a radical by having compassion and empathy for the least among us. For those who had no respect in society.  I’m given to understand that the despair I feel is not mine personally, but is the despair of the least among us within our society. 

Brought to mind is the image of fairly well-off, physically comfortable and materially wealthy people, who also feel aggrieved, as if they are disrespected. Next to mind comes those with great wealth and the despair of not being loved for themselves, but for their money. I look around at Hecate and Sitri and Doris and Bambi and ask what I need to learn here or how should I be seeing this despair in a new way? 

Hecate takes my left hand and places it on her heart. Through that connection, I can feel love pouring into and through me. I send it out my right hand first connecting with Sitri and Doris and Bambi, and then Illuminating the forest itself. Bathing it in a warm golden light. 

In my mind I’m remembering a conflict from 2014. The pain of that was recently dredged up by the sharing of it. I’m infusing that golden love back into my own heart.  I’m feeling that pain dissolve. That despair is just gone. 

I’m now radiating golden light all around me, coming from my heart. It reminds me of that aura that you used to see in the illuminated manuscripts with the gold all around the person’s head and body and hands and heart. I am given to understand that the act of no resistance (meaning not arguing or verbally responding) in communicating with people who are hurting, of just showering them with golden love. And finding the humor and the light and the love inside of the darkness to help them illuminate themselves. It’s one of my gifts that is now being called forth. I need to see the divine, the love of inside of each human and help them discover their own light and love. 

We moved over to the grotto, the small pond and I baptize myself in this water, with Hecate and Sitri assisting. The water itself is normally shadowed, a dark black grotto. Now the water itself is infused with light and it becomes this golden-green dancing water. As I come out and resume my clothing, my robes. I sit down to meditate. I (know) I am to maintain a light meditative state for the next three days part of my initiation into this new space.

Sitri and Hecate sit down with me so we’re facing in three different directions. They have offered to support me in this quest for the next three days. I shall conclude Wednesday around noon Eastern Time

As I start to wiggle my physical body around, I’m aware that part of me will be staying here in this light meditative state with a golden thread connecting my physical self to this meditative self. My consciousness returns here while my super consciousness remains meditating.

Planting the Seed for the New Tree of Life

December 18th 2020

I’m journeying today with a question:  What is needed now to protect the seed for the new tree of life? What is the template for holistic consciousness that is emerging on the planet? 

With that, I ask the energy that is helpful to step forward and the energy that is not helpful to please leave this space. I have lit a candle as a reminder of our service to humanity. And in  we go. Thank you

Eagle Man Guide is standing, waiting for me by the tree. We are on the high plain of the plateau that overlooks the canyon where the river runs. He opens the door for me into the tree and we descend into the forest. I embrace Hecate, who’s there waiting for me. She sent me messages through my friend, Kate on a journey a couple of days ago. I thank her and we touch our foreheads together, in homage to our sisterhood.

The rest of the gang is sitting around a small campfire. I joined them. We pass around the marshmallows and we’re having a good chat. These ooey gooey marshmallows reminds me of Girl Scouts camping, family camping trips and simpler times, less complexity and less conflict in my world. We look up at the night sky at the millions and millions of stars. The vast  system in which we are a speck. Maybe not even a speck, maybe not even that big. Hecate grabs my hand and we run through the forest away from the campfire. At first I think she’s taking me to The Grotto but we emerge into the clearing where the cabin is. This is a cabin I have visited before. The last time I was here, the family who lives in his cabin was packing up to go away and I did promise to look after their property. As we approach the cabin, I can see evidence that someone has been there, even though it’s not currently inhabited. It looks as if the family had visited or sent one of the kids to visit. They swept out the cobwebs, made firewood ready for them to return. It feels like it is ready to receive a guest is the condition of the cabin. Or receive the family back home, I’m not sure which. But all things prepared for somebody to occupy the cabin. We go out the back into the garden. There’s nicely furrowed and tilled ground like things have been cleaned up for the winter and ready for fresh planting in the spring. All indications are that the family is coming back. While they are away they are keeping their tabs on the place. Otherwise it’s really good to see that it is undisturbed. We walk on into the forest. As we get to the river, the city is on the other side. And in the river, I can see that it is once again filled with toxins and pollution. Last time we were here and the eagle flew over and sprinkled some power to clean the river up. This time, there’s a net or trap slightly down river of the city that’s catching all of the debris and filth. Some sort of a filter or net, catching the bulky items. What’s coming out of the other side of the net is still toxic water but without the chunks and trash. It is step one of the clean up, shall we say. 

I ask Hecate, “What does this have to do about protecting the seed for the new tree of life?” 

She responds, “This is a longer-term process. That vision you had of the power of the eagle spreading the powder in the water cleansed it up temporarily. But there are always more toxins and trash that people will be putting into our stream of information.  It needs constant vigilance. Until that is taken care of, until this stream is protected against these toxins, this kind of retroactive clean up will be necessary.” 

I nod knowing that this is also the water that will be needed for the seed to flourish and to root deeply into our new structure,our new society. It’s part of the template, having clean rivers and  connecting this to Myra’s work. She nods.

We cross into the city which is even more dire than it was before. I recognize that the vision I saw a year ago is now real life in many hospitals throughout the nation. Places where people are wraith-like with exhaustion and trying to care for those with this virus. And I look around where this new seed for the tree of life might be planted. And I’m given to understand that there is not a single seed of this new tree of life, but there are many seeds. We go to the central public square in this city. Because it’s winter, things are leafless and cold and gray and drab looking. In the middle of this public square we dig a hole and we plant the seed deep, deep within this hole. I sense there is an etheric or metaphysical connection to the soil has been tilled in the garden behind the cabin. There is a connection between these two worlds through the seed and through the soil that’s been prepared.  

I look askance — with asking in my eyes — at Hecate. She says, “Now we wait. Now we wait.”

A few of the guides are with us now and they are standing as Sentinels over around this public square. They are not obvious, but just keeping an eye on and protecting that work which we’ve just done. Sealing it with the knowledge that’s when the time is right that seed will burst forth, root deeply and reach for the sky. The dawn of a new age.

I ask Hecate if we’re about to go into the swamp (again). “No it’s not necessary right now. The swamp will take care of itself the moment. Right now connecting these two worlds is enough — the cabin and the city.”

We embrace and I come back. 

The Picnic with My Shadow Self

December 6, 2020


The questions I settled on for today were of a more personal nature.  

  • What shadow work should I attend to? 
  • What blindspots can be revealed to me now?

With these questions in mind, I asked for my guides to help me, anointed and lit a candle. I selected two cards from the Mystical Shaman Oracle deck, The Rainbow and Completion.

The Journey: 

I’m on a high plane and the tree is visible in the distance and I moved towards it. I’m on top of a high bluff and Eagle Man Guide greets me next to the tree. We descend into the forest through the tree. It’s like I’m a prodigal child returning home with all of the joy and hoopla, as we gather — greeting me and we embrace. The full crew is here: Hecate, Merrilyn, Doris Frank, Bambi, Thumper and we wander off into the forest. It looks like they’ve packed a picnic lunch for me. 

The question that I’ve come here to consult with them on today is, “What shadow work should I attend to right now? And what blind spots can be revealed?”   

As we spread out the cloth for the picnic, we gather around the table and Merrilyn begins to unpack the picnic basket. 

The first thing she pulls out of the picnic basket is one of those Faberge eggs. It’s my arrogance, which has been growing of late. She sits it on the table in front of me and when I touch the top, it opens up to reveal what’s inside. Inside is a jewel of great clarity. It’s representative of my mental acuity or brilliance and Merrilyn is saying that I spend too much time admiring my brilliance as if it were a clear gemstone, rather than using it (the brilliance) to do good work in the world. I feel a little deflation in my body as I hear this and I know that it has been at play lately in my life, yes. The Egg closes itself and we move it aside. 

The next item she pulls out of the picnic basket is a miniature sloth. Merrilyn is referencing my desire to rest by numbing out — she’s telling me it’s OK to rest, but that the way that I rest — by watching mindless TV, jigsaw puzzles and eating — are unhelpful, might be harmful and sloth-like. (Merriam-Webster ref: one definition of sloth is spiritual apathy and inactivity, which is what Merrilyn pointed me towards)

I ask “How is “being sloth-like” is different from “being lazy” that my workaholic role models drilled into me as bad? She said this is different. Your role models used work to numb out, you work to feel alive. This is something to examine that could be a blind spot. I nod and cuddle the sloth a little bit because it’s a really cute sloth. 

The next thing that Merrilyn pulls out of the picnic basket is a picture of the very sensuous woman. She tells me that part of my captivation with my mental acuity has been at the expense of being fully sensual in life. This loss of sensuality is a blind spot I should be working to correct.

I ask if there were any more shadows and blind spots in the picnic basket and Merrilyn says no. These are the three things for me to focus on for the next few months. I ask if they have any other messages for me, to which she laughs playfully and says no that’s it for now.

Then she reaches into the picnic basket again and starts pulling out food and things for us to feast upon. We enjoy spending some time together.  I see Sitri coming in late and we embrace,  sitting down for a good gossip with the picnic. I feel my friend Kate in the distance. She is happy for us to be having this picnic today.

As the picnic winds down, I pick up the Faberge egg, the sloth and the picture of the sensual woman. I bring them back with me so I might remember. I depart and return to my body. 

The card readings:


The Essence: The rainbow symbolizes the seven steps of a true spiritual path, which manifest as the colors of the seven chakras. In the Himalayas, the rainbow body is seen as the full realization of our essence. The rainbow also represents the bridge between the physical and the spiritual worlds. At the end of our lives, we can journey across the rainbow bridge to the highest heavenly realms. When the rainbow appears, it is an affirmation that all is well and that you are in right relationship with Spirit.

The Invitation: The rainbow tells you that the end of the storm is near. Persevere, and remember that it is darkest just before dawn. Do not give up hope; things are about to take a positive turen. Listen for the morning rooster that announces the coming of the dawn even while night is still darkest. But do not claim victory yet or let your guard down fully. 

The Medicine: Don’t get caught in pursuit of the illusion of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Find the treasure now, in the moment, by coming into right relationship with those around you. All your gifts are at hand, so obvious you may have missed them. Be true with your intentions, and do not be led astray by daydreams.


The Essence: All things have a beginning, a middle, and an end. This is the nature of life — the seed, the flower, and the fruit — and of all human relationships. Completion suggests the fullness of the moment and the need to transform an old form into a new one.

The Invitation: You have finished a cycle, and there is no more growth or benefit from hanging on to the old. In regard to relationships, it is time to honor what has been and find a new form for the future. In your ventures, it is time to reap your harvest. Completion is a time for celebration. It is the end of summer when the fruit is ripe.

The Medicine: Clinging to the old form will bring only decay. When fruit is left too long on the vine, it rots. You know that it is time to move on, yet are reluctant. Do not be afraid of hurting anyone’s feelings. Remember that you are responsible for your actions, not the actions of others. Mourn what is lost so you can move on. Do not be sad; be like the sun at midday who shines brightly, neither longing for sunrise nor dreading the dusk. 

Transmuting Pain

November 8th 2020 

I thank everyone for being here. I haven’t even entered into the space, yet I can feel the guides gathering. In preparation for today I have pulled out the oracle card set that I use, pulling two cards from the deck to meditate on today. The first card I pull is Wind and the second card I pull is Eagle. 

Let us begin. I arrive on the High Plains and Eagle Man Guide is ready for me. As we embrace I know that he has missed me, since it has been many weeks since I last visited. But like many old friends it’s as if we were never apart. We walk into the tree and descend on the stairs into the forest, where I’m greeted by (feelings of) love and harmony. And many old friends from Hecate to Citri to Bambi, Doris, Frank and hundreds of others. I don’t know all of their names.  I’m grateful for their welcome. The question I am holding for this Journey today is to ask for guidance on the work in front of us the next two to three months. What might be most helpful? As I ask this question Hecate pulls out a folded piece of paper and she unfolds it like a map. As it is unfolded it does turn out to be a map (of the United States.) As I look at the map, I see the many possible highways and small roads that we can journey on  in this time. I begin feeling a heaviness in my heart. There is a message that the map is related to the heart map of Joe Weston’s work and creating a walking meditation in the shape of a heart. And Kate’s work on  Compass of the Heart. It gets a little hard for me to breathe I’m going to pause for just a moment to grieve. (crying)

This is pain. Pain for our nation in the heart. (breathing) It’s grief and sadness. And fear. (breathing). We are not well. An election does not heal this country. (breathing). I’m taking a moment to try and gather myself. The grief is from the Trump supporters in what they have lost in their champion. The grief is for the immigrants who have been separated from their families. And those watching who have seen the separations [and been powerless to stop it.] The grief is about the recognition of creeping and incessant ideology of white supremacy that has pervaded our country from its inception. And grief at our inability to face it. To look it square in the eye and call it for what it is and to heal it. (sniffling, tears running down my face)

The pain is easing a bit. (breathing) Once again, I am standing next to Hecate, looking at a map of the United States. She tells me that no matter where I point on this map, that pain is there. And this pain is the path through which we must traverse. (breathing through the pain)  I’m feeling as if I am a sponge and I am absorbing all this pain from around the country, from around our people. (meaning all people in US) 

I’m asking Hecate how we might absorb this pain and transmute it and transition out of this drama triangle of victims and persecutors and rescuers. How might we transmute this pain and be empowered to co-create our future?

I am given to understand this will be a multi-year process. I nod and ask, “what is the next step to do? And maybe the one after that?” 

Hecate reaches out and she puts some balm on her fingers and then touches it to my heart. And it doesn’t erase the pain at all. No, in fact, it is just as intense, but somehow more bearable now. From her balm, and her touch. It’s less raw. And there is also a feeling of resolution and determination that is part of this transmutation. I relax. 

Eagle Man Guide takes me by the hand and walks me into the forest. We walk past the wound in the earth, still scarred, not healed. Not festering as badly as it once was, but definitely not healed. And we walk past that, leaving the tending there to others. And we walk to the cabin in the woods.

I’m afraid to go in. Eagle Man Guide puts his arms around my shoulder and we walk onto the porch and gently push open the door. Inside the cabin, there is a man weeping. And he’s gathered his wife and children around him, and together they are weeping. They believe they are going to lose the cabin and the forest around them and all that is precious. And I just sit with them. No words are helpful right now. Just sitting. The phrase “sitting shiva” comes to mind. 

We move forward in time and the family begins packing their things. I ask where they are going? And the father says to me they are going to look for a new place where they can be left alone. And I ask if there is any other community they might want to be part, instead of separate from the world. And I’m reminded of the Amish communities that are separate. And he says, “not now.”  

I let them know I will watch over their home and try to keep it from harm. And he looks at me knowing I cannot promise. I cannot make the promise that people will not come and loot and pillage his home, this forest that is sacred to him. They depart and walk into the forest. 

And I wait. 

Eagle Man Guide touches me on the shoulder. We come back to the guides in the forest. Hecate is holding the map. And there is a part of it that has gone dark. A no man’s land has been created. A place where others should not go. 

I ask if there is anything else I should become aware of, that would be helpful for the work that is ahead. And they say to “work with the light.” They let me know they will be continuing to work in the darkness. And one day there will be a reconciliation. But that day is not in the next few months. I nod and we embrace. I am returned.

I move to look up the two cards I had pulled from the Mystical Shaman Oracle Deck at the start of this journey. Wind and Eagle. Here are their meanings: 


The Essence: The symbol of the Wind represents the element of air; it rules communication, thought, song and inspired ideas. It also signifies change with qualities both positive and negative. The wind blows from each of the four directions, and there are different qualities bestowed by each.

  • South: carrying a new sense of trust, helping you gently begin to discard habits and parts of you that are no longer needed
  • West: calling you to more introspection, to a willingness to make final decisions, to let go of attachment and ego desire
  • North: moving to bring you wisdom and strength
  • East: carrying clarity of vision and purpose

Whichever way the wind is blowing for you, the message, which the wind whispers or shouts, is a challenge. It may take courage at first to turn and face the wind, but you will find exultation in moving toward it and receiving its lessons.

The Invitation: When the spirit of Wind comes calling, it’s a sign of change. Perhaps you need to change your mind about something. Perhaps an old way of doing things has become automatic, and now that you’ve gained greater clarity, you can make a new choice. Regardless of what the change is, you can expect to be understood and to have clear communication with others at this time. Ideas are solid, and the shift that is being called for is in the highest good of all. 

The Medicine: When Wind comes as medicine, you’re being invited to recognise the value of chaos. Windstorms provide necessary chaos to clear the air and spread seeds to plants and trees can take root in new fields. Right now it may seem as if your world has been turned upside down, but this is a temporary storm that will blow over. Perhaps communication has broken down between you and another, or your many to-do lists are overwhelming you. The medicine is to simplify, slow down, course correct if you need to, and wait out the storm to clean things up. Just know that all storms have great value if you can remain neutral during their course. Greater clarity and good things will come from it all. Remember, this too shall pass.


The Essence: Eagle comes from the east, the place of the rising sun, of new beginnings. She soars high in the sky, sees the smallest detail with clarity without losing track of the bigger picture, and nests in the high mountains. For Eagle, there are no obstacles, only opportunities. She calls you to ascend, to acquire perspective, so you can fly wing to wing with Great Spirit. 

The Invitation: Have you become trapped in your daily routine and feel you do not know where to go and what to do next? Have you lost your sense of purpose? Eagle invites you to take a deep breath and spread your wings. When was the last time you opened them? Eagle reminds you that your spirit was born to soar to the heavens. As you contemplate choices, ask yourself: “Do I want to live in a chicken coup, sheltered from lie, counting the regular feedings, or do I want to soar like an eagle?” If your answer is the latter then you mist accept Eagle’s invitation and embrace the courage that will help you choose freedom.

The Medicine: It is time to see through the eyes of Eagle. Let your vision of the whole and its parts become laser-like, and set your priorities straight. What did you come to do in this life? Did you come to climb up the ladder of financial or social success? Did you become a better person, to heal your heart, and to realize your essential self? What is your divine mission here on Earth? 

No more excuses. Of course, you do not have enough time, enough money, or enough sleep… Yet the time is now to fly to your chosen purpose. If you postpone it, you are betraying yourself. Look through the eyes of Eagle and consider every obstacle an opportunity. Where you set your intention is where you’ll end up. Free yourself and live your highest destiny. Fly!

Make It Fun

October 6, 2020

The question today is the nature of the convening or gathering that I’ve begun planning for next year, what are next steps and who are my partners?

We start on the high bluff- the plains that overlook the river, far, far below. We gaze out at a landscape, where the western skies are red. The skies to the north are dark with thunder clouds. The sky to the east shows a brilliant, brilliant white light. And to the South, the direction from which we’ve come, there is a battle going on between the forest and the skyscrapers. Above us is the inky black sky of night, where twilight is just starting to fade into daylight. Below us, Mother Earth herself has indigestion. Lots of gurgles and pops and stretching, but indigestion nonetheless. 

I’m given to understand that the balancing of these forces are perhaps it’s holding the tension of them. Calling forth the validity of each of these different directions or each of these different perceptions and perspectives will be the work of the summit. Balancing polarities and helping people understand that holding polarity or paradox doesn’t make one invalid and the other true. It just means there’s a paradox.  I nod. Eagle Man Guide is with me. 

My heart feels close to bursting with the love that I feel coming from this new world that we’re creating. A place of peace yes, but also a place of caring and compassion. This is the the being that we are becoming, should we choose it. I nod recognizing that yes that is my choice already it has been for a long time. 

I ask about changing hearts or influencing hearts, how do we the people allow our hearts to be changed?  

Eagle Man Guide responds, “MAKE IT FUN. Have fun with exploring and getting to know and staying home and being a homebody. Fun and play is the key to engagement. Key to people being willing to show their vulnerabilities.” 

I nod. “Is there anything else I need to know?”

He is quiet and lets me know that’s enough for now but I should come back more often. 

I smile and we embrace and I walk back into the forest and arrive here.

The Cleansing

September 30th, 2020

Question for this journey, how to best collect and collaborate with others for the difficult time ahead.

In the midst of the high plains, a single tree stands alone. I rush to it’s shade, for the sun overhead is hot and I am thirsty. As I reach the tree, a door opens and I step inside. I fall through into the underworld below. 

I land in a heap — this isn’t normal. I usually walk down stairs. I’m greeted, and fussed over, by Bambi and Doris. Merrilyn is standing back a little, and beyond her, a little ways back, is Eagle Man Guide. As they help me up, we embrace. Merrilyn gestures and we travel through the forest. Eagle Man Guide follows. She leads me to the grotto — the small pool with a stream and waterfall. And as before, we dive in. We swim through some tunnels until we arrive in the Temple of Freedom. The Temple is a cavern that is energetically located beneath the US Capitol building. As I arrive in the Temple, the people who abide there, with me, and help to maintain it, are ill. They are throwing up and green. The cavern is chartreuse today. Eagle Man Guide emerges from the pool and he gestures for the helpers. I’m standing here for a moment to feel the malaise that has taken hold in the Temple of Freedom, as if it were intentionally poisoned. 

As I take it in, I smell something putrid. And the helpers start a bucket brigade, dipping into the pool from which we emerged. They begin hosing down and splashing water all across the floor and up onto the walls and now some other helpers are coming with brooms and brushes and starting to scrub this putrid vomit off of every surface within the Temple of freedom. 

I feel a lightening in the atmosphere and the scent of lemon starts wafting across my nose.  Lemon for freshening and neutralizing and I’m being instructed to keep lemons nearby for the coming weeks for this purification. 

My cleaning continues and I turn back to Merrilyn and Eagle Man Guide. They are standing next to one another facing me and they each place their outside hand on one of my shoulders so that we become like a three-way, like a triangle and connecting our hearts and our energies.  We put our heads together our foreheads and we breathe in the lemon and breathe out the putrification. Breathe in the lemon, breathe out putrification. 

This kind of deep cleansing ritual may need to happen several times daily for the coming weeks as we… both… there’s something in here about removing the toxins from within each of us and and then collectively removing the toxins from society. So there continues to be a mix of individual detox and collective detox to heal or transmute this unhealthy power that has pervaded our nation and transmute it to its original intent, which is freedom. 

They’re nodding at me, yes, I am correctly interpreting the situation. I ask about the meeting I’m about to hold in a few moments and if there is anything that I need to share with the group. 

It is this combination of individual and collective transmutation of toxicity that should be shared with them. Pointing to previous times (historically) when transmutation of toxicity has become the new foundation of how we are together in the social contract, codified into law and amendments. 

Merrilyn touches my cheek and says the magical battle for America continues. She looks at me with compassion because she knows there is suffering ahead for all of us. She thanks me for my sacrifice for what I am setting myself up to do. With a small smile and a tear I acknowledged my bodhisattva task. And with that it all dissolves and I’m left standing on the high plain outside the tree. And I return.

The Headless Snake – Embodying Reconciliation

September 23, 2020

The intention of this journey is to receive direction and ask for support in preparing for a 2021 summit with my political work. I’m asking for support and help to find co-conveners and funding. Protections are in place and all those who are helpful will arrive at the appropriate time. Let us begin.

I am standing on the High Plain. Eagle Man Guide greets me, once again, and we pass straight through the tree, still in the middle world, but altered. He takes me to the edge of a river and as … it’s just this beautiful river. It is pristine blue and the plain that we’re on is surrounded by yellow grass. It is fall and the seasons are turning. As I look in the water I see many fish, swimming upstream. I am given to understand or I just know, that swimming upstream this time of year is challenging, if not impossible. 

So I ask, “What is the meaning here?” 

Eagle Man Guide responds, “The work that you are doing in this current climate is like swimming upstream.”  

I believe he is referencing the partisan fighting that happens prior to any election and he nods. 

I ask, “How do we flow with the energy such that it is natural?”  

He says, “There is a need for modeling, both partisan fighting or competition with reconciliation and the need to reconcile following the competition. There’s a need for people to SEE friends who opposed one another gather again after the competition ends and work towards a brighter future. 

I nod a few people come to mind with whom I might be able to do that.

We walk downstream on the banks of the river and at one point, the river descends, while we remain on a high plain overlooking the river. I’ve been here before and saw massacre on the far shore while I was up on the high plains looking down across the river. We pause for a moment in memorial of those who were lost in that battle. 

As I look up from my prayer I see an eagle flying overhead. We’re still under this vast, open blue sky and the eagle comes in lands on my left arm. In his beak he is carrying a snake and the head has been removed and he offers this to me. As I take this headless snake, the eagle takes off. I’m astonished to say the least. It’s a fairly large snake, about 3 feet (maybe 4) in length. I look at Eagle Man Guide and he gestures to a campsite that is nearby and we sit down. We start to cook the snake as if to eat it for dinner. I understand this is a both an initiatory experience and also a sacrifice that the eagle has given me his meal. The eagle has passed something on to me. We cook and eat the snake. I find myself feeling full and lethargic much like a snake appears after it’s eaten. Eagle Man Guide helps me up and we fall through the ground into the underworld. 

Here I’m greeted by Merrilyn and Hecate and Bambi and Thumper. Thumper is very playful today and wants to dance. I’m still feeling a little lethargic. We exchange hugs all around. Merrilyn leads me to The Grotto with the pool. I’m afraid to jump in because I feel so lethargic. She calls the fairies to help and we dive into the water and travel through our series of underground caves to arrive in the temple of freedom.

Once in the temple of freedom, I lay down on one of the mats and sleep. I am digesting this meal, this initiatory experience I’ve been given. Merrilyn stays to watch over me. As I sleep, the fairies dance around me in a some sort of ritual dance. I feel tingling over my body, especially my head, as I receive their blessing and protection. I receive their quest or mission they have asked me to perform for them. My spirit self (not the self that is sleeping) asks Merrilyn, “What is this charge or request or mission?” 

Merrilyn responds, “It is a request to model good behavior in the world and have it be heartfelt, sincere, authentic and embodied in my every word and action.”

I nod. “I know that it is hard right now to not be snarky or bitter or angry.” 

And she nods back at me, “Yes. You understand there is a way to be partisan and competitive,”  she notes, “without becoming tribal and warlike, which is the tendency of these times.”  

I ask her about the meaning of the snake. 

I’m wondering specifically if this is the ‘Don’t tread on me” snake from the founding of our nation? Or is this the snake in Eden, who offered forbidden knowledge to Eve? Or something else?

She said she leaves it to me to research that myself and decide the meaning of a headless snake. 

I’m also reminded of the protection offered from poisonous snakes when the head is cut off, so that’s another possible meaning.  She nods.

My sleeping-self is starting to stir and my spirit self joins my sleeping-self again. We drink from the pool that’s in the center of the Temple. I look around and there are others meditating in here, sitting with me abiding in the temple of freedom. Eagle Man Guide suddenly appears and calls to the helpers to come in and perform the ritual cleansing. The temple brightens perceptively as they clean, washing away all of the residue that both naturally accumulates, but also is intended as a subtle way to sully the temple. There are those who desire the temple to once again become a cavern where freedom is captured.

We are banishing that idea or thought. We are making sure that freedom is living elsewhere and that the space becomes the reminder and respite for those who are free. But the Temple does not embody Freedom itself. 

Freedom itself remains out in the world.  

I have a short glimpse of Our Lady of Freedom, she sits on top of the US Capitol. She is smiling at the idea that freedom is disbursed. 

And with that, Merrilyn crosses to me and embraces me. She puts her hands on either side of my face closing my eyes. She kisses me with her blessing and I am returned to my body.

Interdependence and Freedom

September 4, 2020

Journey 9.4.2020 – Interdependence and Freedom

I ask for all helping spirits who are pertinent for today’s Journey, to please step forward. I ask all others to step back. Those who are connected to today, please offer your protection. And it is done.

The question for today is how might I be of highest and best service, particularly in the next 2 months?

Eagle Man Guide (EMG) greets me at the tree and we descend into the forest.  It’s night time. I am greeted by Bambi and Doris and Merrilyn, most of the “usual crew.”  Merrilyn takes my hand and guides me into The Grotto with the small forest-lined pool. EMG follows and we dive quickly into the pool and emerge/arrive in the temple of freedom. 

“There is a need to hide the temple for a short time.”  Merrilyn says. “The Temple of Freedom is at risk. Just like when you found the ripped up rose bushes from the Rose Garden in the Temple a few days ago, others are now trying to fill up this Temple of Freedom so that it becomes a dumping ground where freedom is squandered rather than a place of reverence and a place of reflection.”

“Freedom is under threat,” she continues, “and people will look to give their freedom to the temple rather than embody it in the space where they live. This Temple, this Cavern, is a reminder of what each of us carries inside of us. It is not intended to be the receptacle into which all freedom is gathered.”

“What actions do I need to take in the coming 60 days?” I ask. 

“Continue to abide here,” she says. “Continue keeping it clean. When rubbish that is brought here, burn it. Purify it. And if toxic waste is dumped into the spring in the Temple, you must cleanse the spring. You must filter it to remove and burn the toxins.” She hands me a bag of white powder and she says, “This is a purification powder that will also provide clean water for this spring.”  

“Thank you,” I say. “I will follow these instructions.” 

“People will want to come and abide here with you,” she says. “You must be careful.”  

A refrain that I read a few days ago pops into my mind and the sentence or comment was: Remember the Nazis were Mystics, too. 

I ask for some help and protection in seeing through the illusion who is friend and who is foe,  so that foes might be easily identified. Merrilyn hands me a talisman and says, “This will help you see through the illusion of those who are pretending to be friends.” 

I thank her and I put it on. “Is there anything else?” I ask. 

EMG has followed us into the cavern and has been standing aside quietly. He now makes his familiar hand gesture and hundreds of helpers flood into the cave and begin cleansing it. They wipe away a slight gray film that was not noticeable until it was removed. These are the same helpers that helped heal the wound in the earth in a previous Journey. (Ref: October 13, 2019) 

“These are the helpers,” EMG says, “and they will help you abide in the temple of freedom.” 

I give it a deep bow to EMG and to the helpers. “Thank you. Thank you.”  I know that I am not alone in this work. 

My heart starts beating faster. And I smell bread and cookies and all sorts of  yummy things that I no longer eat in real life. “Yes,” EMG says “There is temptation relying too much on your helpers. Like bread and cookies, they feel good for a moment, but in the long run, you need to learn interdependency (rather than numbing out with artificial substances or empty help).”

“I understand,”  I say. My heart is still pounding really hard and I’m frightened. 

“There is reason to fear,” he says, “reason to be strong and to stay vigilant. There is no assurance that light or dark will prevail at this time. Good or evil — it is still a toss-up. By keeping the temple clean you provide a slight advantage to good. 

I feel a little light-headed. “Is there more? Is there something else?”  I ask. I have a sense of waiting for a shoe to drop,  something that’s big and horrible. It is a sense of possible — not impending — but possible doom. 

EMG grabs me by the shoulders and looks into my eyes directly. “The future is uncertain,” he says, “but it is not lost. Do your part. Encourage others to do theirs. Maintain hope.” And with that he abruptly releases me and leaves the cave through the tunnel.  

Merrilyn has been standing back, during this exchange. She now comes and puts her arm around me and we sit together in a loveseat/chair. She holds me; encourages me, shares her courage with me. “Yes, the next two months will be challenging,”  she says, “and for some time after that. But we will get through this together. Even should the darkness descend and we lose this current battle, the light is not extinguished. You will always have the Temple of Freedom.  It’s a question of how many others will have the Temple of Freedom as well.”

I’m quietly crying, feeling like a child who’s being comforted by mother, by Ma.  We embrace farewell. She dissipates and I’m left alone in the Temple of Freedom. Not exactly alone,  the helpers are here although they have stepped back. They are waiting to be called upon again. 

I’m left wondering about my discernment of telling friend from foe in this coming two months. I reach up to touch the pendant I’ve been given and will wear until it is no longer needed. I feel my spine stiffen and my resolve return. No matter my fear or doubt, I am a warrior.  I am a peacemaker. I am a free person. I will empower others to know they are free. 

I abide in the Temple of Freedom.  

I will not leave this place until all are free.

I remain. 

Loving Acceptance with Loving Boundaries

August 14, 2020

Protections have been put in place. Today we’re journeying on 3 questions: 

  1. What is my best and highest service in the coming month?
  2. What challenges might I face and what is needed to address them? 
  3. And lastly what support and I rely upon?

I begin on the high plains, where Eagle Man Guide once again greets me at the tree. We descend into the forest. It’s day break and the light is just starting to stream through the trees.  Hecate greets me, we embrace and she leads me to the cavern, the Temple of Freedom. She instructs me to get on a massage table and I lay face down. Hecate and others start to move energy around in my body. Massaging the strained and weary muscles that have gotten out of balance. I get chills head to toe as I relax into this gentle spiritual massage. 

As they work on me, I am releasing my feelings of not enough. Of being left out. Of feeling useless. Unappreciated. And as they work, I feel myself lightening up, in both weight and brilliance. Lightened. I feel vulnerable and afraid of what people might say as I continue this spiritual path at the same time, I work in politics. Hecate and her helpers continue their work. I feel very rooted, heavy, as if weighted down. This is not what was before but a grounding in the Earth. At the same time I can feel myself lengthen, sprouting, moving towards the sky, reaching for the sun. 

As Hecate and her helpers continue working on me, I feel my physical back pain ease and alignment being restored. Thank you, thank you. I feel so much better for your help. The pain is connected to my misalignment and confusion about what I’m supposed to be doing next.

Now to my questions. Hecate drapes her arm across my shoulders and we walk over to a little loveseat and sit down together. 

She tells me that my next to the highest good in the coming month is going to be patience and waiting for seeds that have already been planted to take root and sprout themselves. That work is already done she says. And the work that is being called for I need to focus on in the next month is more internal. It may look like sitting still to those on the outside. But inside I have a garden to cultivate, she tells me. And preparations to make. I nod. I understand.

What are the challenges I’m most likely to face and what is needed to address them? 

Hecate responds, “the challenges will be internal and addressing your relationship with Sam. You will be called upon to embody loving acceptance and loving boundaries. And to choose what serves that which you most desire.”  

In myself I can feel that I’ve already made that choice. Is to be of service to the nation. 

Hecate continues “And being very clear about what support you need and how Sam can support you in that (your work) will be where your work lies in this next month.”  

“What or whose support shall I rely upon?” I ask and pictures of my friend Kate and new friend Cheryl rise instantly to mind and Sam himself does as well. 

I can feel my own ego wanting to be seen, to be seen contributing, to look good in this field of work and which I’m embodied. I ask Hecate for help in controlling my ego. She chuckles and recommends that I take my ego shopping and keep it occupied. With things of service in the future. 

Hmm. More on that later? I assume. “Yes.”  she says.

“Is there anything else that I should know or that would be helpful for this coming month or next several months?”  

She pats my hand and we get up from the loveseat. She says “no, that’s enough for now. We’re glad that you made an appointment to visit with us every week. Come more often if you like.”  She invites me.  

I nod and we embrace. And I return to my body. 

Abide in the Temple of Freedom

August 7, 2020

Intention: How may I be of highest service in the next three months for our nation? And the three months after that.

Eagle Man Guide greets me by the tree and we descend into the dark forest. I see Merrilyn and Bambi. And Doris. We embrace. We haven’t seen each other for a while. I sense Hecate is on her way. And the beautiful spirit that was with us last May. I can’t remember her name. But thank you. (It’s Sitri.)

Merrilyn leads me to the grotto. A small pond, surrounded by forest with a small waterfall splashing into the pond. And Hecate meets us there. She takes my hand and we dive immediately into the water. And we swim up into a cave, through a cave. Holding my breath. I start to feel a little panicky. I don’t like being underwater in a cave. She pulls me along. And we emerge into the cavern under the Capitol, of the US Congress. 

Whe-oof. Wow. This cavern is still brilliantly lit in white. All the crystal walls exposed. They sparkle. And the pool we just came up through is in the center of this cave. Hecate sits me down, as if to meditate. And she is instructing me to stay present for the next three to six months. To stay present in this cavern. And to guard it. Keep it clear of all the insidious energy to make sure it doesn’t come back. 

The power that was formerly held captive here, in this cavern has been released to the world. And there are many people who will be trying to send it back here, to capture it again. She tells me.

“There are many people in the world who don’t want the responsibility of their own freedom. They want to give it away. And it’s your job to be sure it doesn’t come HERE.”

“Where will it go?” I ask, “if it doesn’t go here?”  

And she tells me “even if people give away their power to others, it is better if that power is disbursed and not centralized. So having it disbursed among local elected officials, or partners, or spouses or parents or community leaders — if people are going to give away their power, they should give it to those closest to them. They should not give it to Congress at this time. It’s part of the path for a pluralistic country to exist.”

And I ask, “who will help me with this?” And the children emerge into the cavern. I smile at them. We danced in this cavern together to set our freedom free and release it into the wild of our country, so creativity can emerge all over the place and not be contained. They promise to stay with me and laugh and play and dance. 

I see it is possible that energy will be sent here, we will dance and play with it, and then we’ll send it back out, reinvigorated. But our job right now is to be here, maintaining the temple of freedom. Which doesn’t house freedom, instead it houses the values and ideals of freedom that are to be practiced elsewhere.

I ask if there is anything else to know or do? 

I am instructed that during my daily meditations, I need to meditate from here (in the temple), no excuses. And I agree. My heart asks if I may invite others, share this vision of this place with others. And ask them to meditate with me. To reside here with me, beyond the child-energy. Hecate says, of course. 

I have a mental list of those I want to ask to help maintain this space and this sense of freedom. And to make the invitation public on my blog. Got it. I will. 

(chuckle) The pink glow is returning to this cavern. Pink meaning love. Infusing this space with love for all people. And healing. Love and healing. I smile at all the children and we start to play. 

I’m trying to work out how to remain here, and also remain in my body in physical space. I feel myself separate, but there is a cord between us. So that while I go about my day in the physical world, I can “call in” or “tap in” to the part of myself I’ve left in the cavern, in the cave of freedom and play. 

Mmm. I embrace myself. My two selves embrace. Marveling at the sacred duality of this, that is part of the non-dual at the same time. The paradox just cracks me up.  And I am transported back to the forest, where we started. We didn’t have to go through the water, for which I am grateful. (chuckling) We embrace. We hug. I know I’ll be seeing them soon. 

Thank you. 

The Meeting of Skyscraper People and Nature People

July 20, 2020

Protections in place. Asking for messages/guidance about my direction. And asking for support.

Eagle Man Guide greets me by the tree and we descend into the underworld. It’s nighttime in the forest. A few other guides greet us, Bambi, Merrilyn, Hecate. We greet each other and journey through the forest. We come out of the trees and onto a high cliff, plateau overlooking a river. It’s very high up, and the sun is just coming up over the river. It’s a beautiful sunrise. And as light hits the banks of the river, I see bodies strewn about, as if there has been a great battle fought. I ask about finding a way down to the riverbank. The bodies are on the far shore, on the opposite side of the river. I ask if we should offer assistance, but there are others assisting there. The battle was more of a massacre of unsuspecting people. I get a  heaviness in my chest and just want to cry. The senselessness of the sacrifice, these people were just living their lives. Even though they were expecting a battle, it didn’t have to be. 

Eagle Man Guide turns me away from the carnage so that I’m now looking back over the plains to what the sun is illuminating what was behind us, now in front of us.  And I see the foundation of a new building — a new city. It is rising above or in the midst of the forest that we just came out of. And there are some who want to build a bright shiny metal filled city — reminiscent of NY or something with skyscrapers. And those who are fighting against them, trying to change the plans and make it something natural and more organic, a lower footprint upon the earth, rather than an homage to man. They are saying we should build anew, something that is in harmony with earth rather than the conquering and domination of earth.  

I invite both sides (probably more than two) to come and talk with me and share with me what their vision is for the future. Eagle Man Guide, Hecate, Merrilyn and Bambi are circled around behind me as the rest of us sit at a round table and begin talking about what is our vision for the future. The Skyscraper People go first, they are looking to build something that protects humans from the outside world from the things that could kill, harm and hurt us. Protects us from bugs and nature and flora and fauna that can be deadly. Kind of a protective bubble of steel and concrete to keep us safe. I nod and acknowledge the motivation of protection. And I look to the folks who want to build something that is more earth-bound or earth-centric. They say they want to build something that harmonizes with earth. And believes it is possible to build something like a city amongst the trees. And instead of protecting people from nature, to educate about nature and what is harmful and what is not, so we might avoid that which hurts and harms us. At the same time preserving earth. The Skyscraper People start to interrupt and say “yes, but people will die because they are not smart enough”  I nod again and look back to the nature people. And they say that would be a failure of us, of people, for not educating properly. It is not a failure of the earth living and breathing for doing what nature does. The Skyscraper People sees this as a sacrifice of human life, which is more valuable than nature itself. The Nature People sees human life as one element of nature, and not necessarily the healthiest form of it or the healthiest expression of nature. The Nature People are seeking to bring back a right balance or better balance of humans as part of nature rather than dominating or eradicating nature trying to protect themselves as a survival mechanism. The Nature People see that the domination of earth means the extinction of humans.  And the Skyscraper People say the extinction of nature protects humans from nature.

I lean back into the support of my guides, looking for wisdom and guidance. 

“These two perspectives are but two sides of the same coin,” I say. “On one hand, nature is all around us. Even when we build skyscrapers and use steel and concrete, we do so with elements of earth, elements of nature that we have taken and forged and built from the bounty of the earth. So skyscrapers are an homage to man, yes, but they are the elements of earth itself.”

And I ask the nature people, “Where do you find nature in the city?” 

They point to the parks and the rivers and the wood or more fibrous areas. 

I ask them, “Can you see nature also in the buildings in the glass that is formed from the rocks of the earth itself? That men have utilized (the resources of earth) to create an homage to their brilliance as men, yes, but also to an homage to the bounty of earth?” 

They pause to consider it. And they decry the loss of the woods and the more fibrous, the plants, the animals. 

I look to the Skyscraper People, and I ask, “How can we work in harmony with earth, with the bounty of earth, with the rocks of earth to protect and preserve the fibrous areas of earth? (Preserve) the land itself, the animals that live there. Where does nature’s right to exist?” And they pause. There is an element or feeling of greed that is arising in them, that I can see. Of wanting to OWN earth itself. 

I invite the Skyscraper People, those who wish to own and protect themselves and protect humans to spend time in the woods. In nature. To find the awe of that which Mother Earth provides us. I extend this invitation to those whose hearts yearn for something beyond steel and concrete and glass. Out to the richness of the earth and the soil and the growth. Away from the sterility of the homage to themselves. A couple of the Skyscraper People accept the invitation. The others do not at this time. 

Speaking to the Nature People, I implore you to protect these brave souls that are willing to look at and experience nature. (Nature will be) a partner, their mother, rather than a slave woman for them to dominate. Protect them. The Nature People promise me they will protect their guests.

I lean back again into the support of my guides. Is there anything left to do? I ask. Ah, and exchange. Yes of course. Who among the Nature People will allow themselves to come into the Skyscraper People world and abide for a while? A couple of brave souls come out in exchange. Thank you I say.

To the Skyscraper People I ask that you honor and respect these gentle souls who feel and see more deeply the interconnectedness than you can at this time. I ask that you protect them from the greed and the psychopathic tendencies of the homage to man that happens in the domination. In other words, protect them from the domination itself and allow them to remain free. Those who take them on agree. 

I lean back into my support guides again. And we are complete. The Skyscraper People go off with their two exchange people back into the city which they are building in the middle of the forest. And the Nature People disappear into the trees with their exchange folks as well. We shall meet again. 

Thank you to my guides. And I return to now.

The Release of Freedom

March 20, 2020

I’m on a high plateau. Eagle Man Guide is waiting for me. We embrace and go down into the underworld. The forest is dark. I see Bambi, along with Flower. And I see Sitri is also here. I see other folks off in the distance that I know. I wave hello. 

I ask, “What can I do, to help with that calming wave, as I witnessed a couple of days ago?  What actions may I take?”

And I’m taken to the black rock that is under the Capitol. I’m reminded that last time I was here was with many children and we were dancing. And the rock under the Capitol woke up and started dancing with us. Today, this entity, this source of power for Congress feels very locked down and contracted. Trying to hold onto power. At the same time, there is a release that is starting. 

And this release will set this entity free. 

I lay down on top of the rock. I’m comforting it. Letting this power feel the nurturing that all of us need at this time. I feel myself open up and let it flow through me. Providing comfort and nurturing to the rock.

We are just laying here. Feeling safe and secure. (several minutes of silence)

“Shhh. We are here for each other. It’s gonna be hard, but we will get through this.” I soothe. My body sways and picks up the rock, that is crying now. Frightened. 

“Shh. Shh. Hush, hush. It’s gonna be OK.”

The rock is smaller than it was when we started. It has gone from me laying on top of it to me holding it in my arms, like a baby. Stripped of all of the negativity and expectations of what this infant of America could be, it’s just a child. A child that we the people need to care for and help grow. 

The child represents the essence of our democratic values. And it needs nurturing right now. (We begin removing that which is unhelpful.) Stripped away is rugged individualism. Stripped away is greed and excess.  Stripped away are the machinations and manipulations. The true essence of democrative values that balance individual and community needs remain. Each paying attention to the other, knowing when to give where. 

(chuckling) The child that is America’s values just ran over and hugged me! 

The child is doing some shape-changing now, representing the myriad diverse cultures that exist in our country. Shifting rapidly from one to another. With the same essence. It’s an America with many faces. 

This is beautiful to witness. (I start to cry)

I ask the child to come out with me to the forest, and I promise to be there to protect. (We hold hands and walk towards the entrance.)

Once we emerge into the forest, the brilliance of this child — the light just shines forth! 

I see the brilliance exploding from the child, radiating to the heart of every person, in every community and every nation, planting the essence of democratic values within each person. (I am overcome with emotion at this and am quiet for several minutes)

The light and essence is pervading everyone who is here. (I breathe deeply) I’m taking in as much as I can.  As much as I can. (continuing to breathe.) 

Thank you. Thank you for coming out to the world. Let’s let the power of community spread this light and keep the power dispersed. (The child now lives in each of us, dispersed. May the power of our democratic values be held in our hearts, and not given away or stolen to consolidate power amongst a few.)

And I return.

Caring is Currency

March 17, 2020

We’re walking through the dark forest. All around me, I see emaciated people. Fearful people, hiding in and around all the trees. There are areas where the trees are cut down and people are using the trees for food (literally eating trees), too hungry to build a fire. 

As I walk through the forest, some sort of color or energy comes from my fingertips and acts a blanket, or train of a gown, so everyone behind me is soothed and comforted.

We walked into the city. And the streets are quiet. I gesture with my arms and the color and energy I weave permeates through the city, blanketing everyone in it. They are calmed. I go to a big amphitheater in the city, like the forum where Socrates held classes. There is a stage in the center and staircase seats moving up. 

And here, we begin to debate what society will be. Given what we were has brought us to this point (of breakdown), it’s obviously no longer working.  

“What will we begin to build? What will we imagine?” I ask.

Fractal imagery is popping out of my head (like a projector, so others can see it) as I stand in the center of the stage. The images are of small groups, taking care of each other. Each is connected to a larger group that’s a collection of smaller groups taking care of each other. And so forth, until everyone is included in the solution. And caring for one another.

From this understanding, the concept of finance and money is irrelevant. It is really a matter of human to human caring for one another. (The currency is caring.) 

I ask, “What happens when someone feels greedy or like they’re not getting their fair share? Things are unfair, so what happens?” I see that when one small group breaks down, the members of all the adjacent groups step in to provide assistance as needed, until wholeness is restored.  

I ask “What about individuality and choice and choosing to participate in a system like this? 

The response I hear is now is the time for individual choice to be subservient to the community. There will come a time when individual choice is once again the master. But now is not that time. (This is the corrective measure for too little community focus.)

I’m feeling a tingling on the top of my head, and in my hands. 

“How is this message, to be communicated?” I ask. 

“There will be an opportunity for a national platform that will spread out to the world.” I’m told, “And there are many of us around the world who can share this message. It doesn’t matter which one of us it is, or who it is. What matters is that the message is shared.”

“I understand.” 

“How should I recharge and refresh myself? (as I prepare to share the message.)” 

 I’m told to come here, to the other realms, to relax, recuperate and recharge. 

“What support will I need?” (I receive a list of names, and for their privacy, I will not share them here.) “Thank you.” 

“What else should I know today, before I leave here? What else is needed at this moment?”

“That is all.” they respond.

“Thank you.” 

And I return to my body.

There is a storm coming. Then sun.

February 25, 2020

Eagle Man Guide greets me at the tree. Instead of going into the tree he walks me to the edge of a bluff, where the sea and the sky are both visible. There are storm clouds in the sky. The water is choppy. The water looks like there’s a bunch of wind, but I am not feeling it myself. We must be protected in some way.

He says, “There is a storm coming, and it will last a long time.”  

He’s going to show me how to prepare for the storm ahead. As we sink down into the ground, going into what I presume is the underworld, there is blackness all around us. EMG takes me to a cave where there are provisions stored. Where people have prepared. It reminds of an ant colony where they have rooms with food in them. We follow one of the trails out of the storage room, the provision room, and into a larger cavern where there’s a community. There are more people. We are observers, invisible. They can’t see us. We watch the busy activity as people work on whatever task it is that they’ve been assigned, assigned to themselves. The working together for the survival of the small group. There is a woman who’s leading it. She’s dressed like she’s on Safari, tan khakis with a vest on, no helmet. 

She’s got a clipboard and is organizing things and telling people what to do next. We leave the cavern and…blackness. 

We’re back on the bluff and there are little rays of sun, shining through the clouds now. Behind us I see the people from the community below starting to come out. They gaze at the Sun. They have a little bit of wonder and awe. A little relief. There is joy in the air. They start to dance and play like children, chasing each other. They toss things towards one another so they can give chase. 

This little ray of sun has restored hope. I ask Eagle Man Guide what the message is here. He says, “Always remember, even though there’s a storm and the storms they last a long time, the Sun will always come out again. And feel restorative, bringing with it hope.”

I asked if this message is just for me or if it is a message for the larger world and he says both. 

He also wants me to know and I carry around a ray of sunshine within myself. As does every person, but I’m aware of it more than then some. He says I should use myself as a channel for that ray of sunshine, when it’s bleak outside and people are losing hope. 

I ask if he means for me to become an inspiring leader? He says, “Maybe. But mostly it’s about sharing the hope you have with others. You need to restore it often (within yourself) so that your ray of light doesn’t go out.”  

“I assume meditating is how I restore my inner ray of sunshine.” 

He nods yes.  

We’re back in the forest near the foot of the tree.  I see Bambi and Doris. And Sitri. Hecate is in the distance, waving.  She is busy with other things. We all hug. So lovely. Thank you all. I ascend the stairs and come back out the tree on the bluff, overlooking the ocean. 

The Cards

November 12, 2019

ara, I scoop up the child and hold her in my lap. We cry. I rock her back and forth. This is the wound I won’t let others see. That I try to avoid and stamp out. Somehow, believing that if I ignore this wounded child, she will wither away and I’ll be strong. 

I’m afraid of being that sensitive all the time. I’ve seen how it impacts others in my life and the people who are really sensitive have trouble functioning in this world, and I don’t want to be that. 

Eagle Man Guide just looks at me like, “get it?” Yes. I get it.

There is a way to be vulnerable and function in the world. Life, living, success doesn’t require dysfunction. We leave behind Tara cradling the child. Cradling me. 

And we walk into the city, where hope has been lost and despair reigns. I see many Taras showing up to nurture and hold those who are vulnerable. To provide love. Not to change them. Not to rescue them. But to love them. 

We fly over the river and back to the cabin in the woods, landing at the edge of the clearing. I see Tara there, too. Loving them. Not trying to get them out of the cabin. Not trying to change their mind. Just loving them. We fly over the plains and behind everyone at the negotiating table, I see another Tara. Providing love and guidance. 

I turn to Eagle Man Guide and ask, “Is this my attachment to peace?” He shakes his head no. “The path forward is through love.” 

So I ask about my attachment to peace. He says, “Peace is the outcome, it’s not always the path. Sometimes the path is filled with conflict. Conflict that only love can heal. And the attachment to peace will cover up the necessary path.” 

I nod, recognizing this to be true. I think of all those social justice warriors, who are so strong. “What do I need to learn about justice?” I ask.

“Justice,” he says, “is another form of courage. Justice is standing up, facing off, inciting conflict when necessary. But also recognizing the time to stop fighting so we may live in peace. Justice is not always a warrior energy. The warrior is one aspect of it. Justice is also Tara and love. Justice is not retribution. It is restoration.” 

Images of the city and the cabin and the plains flash by my eyes. I’m left puzzling with the instrument through which love can amplify and drive out the fear and the hate. 

I’m being shown a small pool of water. We’ve tossed a pebble in and watch the ripples go out. I’m given to understand it is the small, loving gestures that will ripple out to change the world. Not necessarily the big grand public gestures. The small acts of kindness. 

“Is there anything else I should think about today?” I ask. I’m told that on my journey, I will always be safe and I need not fear for my safety. We embrace and bid farewell.

Thank you for your guidance and advice. And I’m back.

The Wound, The Cabin, The City and The Swamp

October 13, 2019

The intention of our summit is to provide a transformational experience for those in the room to ripple out over to the country so we create healthy self-governance for the first time in our lifetimes. We ask the spirits who are not helpful towards this intention to leave and those who are participating and helpful to step forward.

The (summit) script is in an iterative process right now and the question is what else should be included or eliminated from the current version and in future iterations so that I have confidence that the process we’re leading people through will lead to the results mentioned before. 

And here we go.

I’m greeted by Merrilyn and  Doris and I think Klonick, a Native American with an eagle headdress. Actually not just a headdress but an eagle head on a male body. We go down into the tree, Bambi waves “hi” but goes off doing other things. 

I follow my guide and we can see a wound in the Earth. Until now the wound has been largely neglected or forgotten or ignored and I see him calling people forward and they start tending the wound. Lovingly cleansing the wound. They put healing balm on it and as we stand there the wound begins to heal until it closes over itself, like skin. Until all that’s left is a very, very faint scar. 

My guide starts moving again. We’re in the forest, in and among the trees. I can feel other beings, other guides and other entities. Hundreds of us are moving silently through the forest.  We come upon a small cabin in a clearing. My guide, I and the rest of those with us surround the cabin and I ask, “what is the meaning of this cabin in a clearing in the forest?”

He replies, “It’s the safe haven for those who caused the wound but did not tend to it. This is their sacred place, to retreat from the world.” I ask “How should we engage with folks who have retreated from the world? Or should we let them be in their cabin in the woods?”

He replies, “As long as they are in their cabin in the woods, isolated from others, the wound will come back and it will not remain healed.” Some sort of question about engaging with those who are in the cabin that don’t want to be bothered by the rest of the world? I don’t have a firm grasp on the question yet. There’s something about safety and vulnerability and openness that needs to be fostered before it is safe to engage.

En masse, we move away from the cabin and back into the forest. We come to a river and across the river is a city. A modern day city. The river between us and the city is polluted. It is  filled with toxins and chemicals and waste. And I see an eagle flying over the river dropping a white powder, a cleansing agent, into the water. As we watch, the water becomes clear and clean. It’s a bald eagle of course. I am aware that the water is the information streams of media. 

We cross the river and move into the city. And we see trash and homelessness and all sorts of humans mistreating each other. There is disease and famine and a lack of caring. I ask, “Why are we seeing this? What is the meaning?” 

I’m told that this is a different type of polarization or disengagement where we become overwhelmed and crowded so that humanity itself begins to lack meaning. And contrasting that with the isolation of the cabin in the forest where humanity is to be feared, in the city humanity is cheap and not valuable. There’s a connection between the fear of the cabin in the forest and the lack of humanity in the city. There are people who are working with those in need in the cities and they are soul weary and wraith like. Soul weary from the endless need that they can never be filled. I feel fear radiating from the cabin of becoming soul weary from engaging in a hopeless cycle. 

“Thank you for showing me this. What else do I need to see?”

We move out of the city and into a swamp, filled with alligators and crocodiles. A swamp. This is akin to a jungle where you have to be very aware all the time of what’s around you. There are a million mosquitoes that just want blood for their survival. In the water are alligators and crocodiles, and all you can see are their eyes looking for their food. It’s a place of survival. At the same time it’s a place of beauty and there’s something about acknowledging or something about being aware that survival needs must always exist and at the same time it doesn’t preclude beauty from existing with it. The beauty of survival perhaps. I feel in my heart a deep sense of satisfaction and contentment finding the beauty of surviving.

I look at my Eagle Man Guide again and ask if there is more and he says that is all for now. I thank him and those who have journeyed with us. It’s quite a crowd. “Blessings.” I say. I receive their blessings in return.  

I come back to my body 

About Money, Comfort and Altruism

May 30, 2019

I have entered the tree and everything is gray, kind of like fog. The forest around us is enshrouded with fog. Hi Bambi! I see you there. And Doris. Thank you all for being here.

I ask, what is the question to ask for Compass of the Heart, as we work with this thought form that is money? 

Intent is the word that comes directly to mind. We need to be very, very clear about the intent. And then think about or also query about what unintended consequences might be.

We travel through the foggy forest together. We come upon a mother crying over a dead baby. Her intention was to have a healthy child, but the child is dead. (I feel the warning.)

We keep moving.

I see the yellow brick road from the Wizard of Oz. So we’re going to follow the yellow brick road. I feel like Dorothy, skipping along on the yellow brick road.  

Dororthy just wants to get home, back to Kansas, to what’s familiar.  But she has to go on a scary journey in order to return home. She also has to vanquish the witch and get the ruby red slippers. And the question becomes about the desire to return home to what is known and safe, with people that we love. 

The next image that comes to me is the line of people waiting to ascend Mt. Everest right now. There’s a crowd of people, in a very slow moving line. These are people who have adventured out of their day-to-day lives, and pushed themselves and stretched themselves. And they are dying, and they are not having a nature experience. It’s more like Disneyland for the sake of being able to say they did it. The “looking good” piece.  

Those that are dying are dying with their colleagues and their hiking people, their climbing community, but not with their family. I ask if there is anything else to learn here. 

Instead of answering, we are whisked away to Rome and some of the ruins. The Coliseum, The Temple. People have longed for creating a utopia on earth and none of it has ever been long-lasting. I’m asking again, how this relates to the question that we should be asking for?

Besides scoffing at me, because “isn’t it f@%king obvious?” there is a caution being urged about being too altruistic or utopian, without taking into account human nature. And the fact that graft and greed do co-exist with altruism. 

I ask about the true nature of graft, it’s a combination of insecurity and greed. Insecurity about being loved and greed in the sense of not ever having enough. An insatiable thirst for more. As we look for our question, we need to be aware of this insatiable thirst for more and the crazy things people will do to feel secure.  

When I ask what is the true nature of altruism, I’m told there is altruism, and then there is fake altruism. There is a caution here about fake altruism, where people wish to be seen as being genuinely for mankind or genuinely for a cause, but there are elements within the perception that they want to be seen as altruistic, but in essence they are trying to feel better about themselves and what they have. There is a need to be seen as not meeting up with the negative archetypes around wealth. 

I’m asking if the fake altruism, the fronted or presented altruism that is personally motivated, if that is the case for all altruism? The answer is no. I’m referred back to a Biblical story about anonymous giving. Anonymous giving is more altruistic than shouting it from the streets about what good works are being done. This is counter to our current marketing and branding culture, where there has to be a hero in the story. 

I ask if there is anything else? And I’m told we are complete. Thank you. And I return to my awareness of my body.